Question: How do I develop a closer bond with the people I surround myself with?
Man, y’all ask the best questions, I swear. I am currently on the MegaBus back to New York after a quick stint in Philly this morning and figured this was a perfect opportunity to address another solid question I was asked earlier today. Also, I don’t want to study for the GMAT Exam. Name a more selfless man, I’ll wait.
Throughout my years of experience as a real-life human being, I’ve taken note of a few things that have allowed me to really get to know and understand the people around me and strengthen the relationships I’ve created with those individuals. These tips will apply to any type of relationship you may encounter: friendships, romantic relationships, familial relationships, working relationships, mutual partnerships, LLCs, you name it. I want to give a broad overview of some of the tools I use to really get to know the people I surround myself with.
First, I think it is so important that all parties involved particpate in an activity that they consider outside of their typical comfort zone or maybe just a little uncomfortable at first. You can learn a lot about someone when they are challenged by a new situation and are attempting to navigate unchartered waters. Helping each other through these experiences is gauranteed to progress the growth of that partnership. Getting out of the comfort zone doesn’t necessarily have to be dangerous or risky in any way either. I recommend just trying something new like learning a musical instrument together or taking a class about something you don’t know much about. Anything that you wouldn’t typically think of doing on a daily basis or something you haven’t tried before would work. This is how we grow as individuals and the same concept applies when multiple people are involved.
The other crucial component to creating a stronger relationship is intentional question-asking (I tried to think of a better way to word this but no dice). We all generally know how to ask questions to find answers to things we don’t already know but would you believe me if I told you that some questions are more effective for building a bond with someone than others? That’s right folks, there are questions you can ask each other that are scientifically proven (we love science) to help you connect on a deeper level than most base-level questions. My favorite resource for this is described in the New York Times as The 36 Questions That Lead to Love. If you look at the list, you’ll notice that many of them are questions that don’t come up in a typical everyday conversation and many of them follow up with “why?” Addressing subjects that we don’t usually think about or share with others (getting out of your conversational comfort zone, it’s amazing how it comes full circle) and then seeking to understand someone’s thought-process or motives behind an answer are guaranteed not only to help you learn about each other, but also spark a much deeper and much more meaningful conversation that, as the article claims, will eventually lead to love.
Y’all know that friend that you consider a friend and you hang out occasionally but you don’t know much about them as a person? Try one of these things with them, and then shoot me an email when you find your new best friend or soulmate. We love bringing people together at mattkopyt.com.